I'm exhausted!

Taking care of a baby is really digging my brains out!! Especially when I have to do it alone. I sometimes think I'm doing so well on my own coz I still manage to have my meals and shower and do some house chores!! Well I guess I can't take all the credit, baby Chloe has her part. She's sometimes a good girl and sometimes not. Can't let her start to cry or over tire her or she'll wail like nobody's business. Times like these I wish my mom was around or I feel I'll go insane and just wanna throw her on the bed and forget about her crying (what a bad mother I am!!) But of coz she's my flesh and blood and I won't do that but sometimes it just takes its toll and does my head in! I sometimes think if I have any bit of post natal depression but to think deeper, I don't have emotional rollercoasters going on so I guess I'm still sane.

Thank God for my parents who asked me to go back to KL and they can help me look after her. At the same time I can go for some Pilates to help with getting back into shape! My weight and size is so so depressing! That's something I'd cry more about! Wonder when can I lose all the weight that I've gained.. Lost 12 kgs but still not enough.. there's another 12 more to go!! Things women go through just for a child!!!